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Sometimes, Jay Spring feels he is “the greatest person on planet Earth”. As a diagnosed narcissist, his grandiose moments can become “detached from reality”, he states. You’re riding high and you tell yourself, ‘Everyone’s going to know that I stand above others … I will achieve remarkable feats for the world’.”

For Spring, these episodes of self-aggrandisement are typically coming after a “sudden low”, where he feels sensitive and self-conscious about his actions, leaving him highly sensitive to criticism from others. He came to wonder he might have narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) after researching his symptoms on the internet – and was later confirmed by a specialist. Yet, he questions he would have taken the label without having previously arrived at that realization on his own. “If you try to tell somebody that they have the condition, {they’ll probably deny it|denial is a common response|they’re likely to reject it,” he notes – particularly if they experience feelings of superiority. They inhabit a fantasy reality that they’ve built up. And within that framework, No one compares to me and {nobody can question me|no one should doubt me|my authority is absolute.”

Clarifying NPD

Though people have been called narcissists for decades, the meaning can be ambiguous what is meant by the term. “Everyone calls everybody a narcissist,” states a leading researcher, adding the word is “overused” – but when it comes to a formal diagnosis, he notes many people keep it private, as there is widespread prejudice around the disorder. A narcissist will tend to have “an inflated view of oneself”, “impaired compassion”, and “a tendency to exploit relationships to bolster one’s self-esteem through things like pursuing power,” the specialist explains. Those with NPD may be “highly self-focused”, to the point that {“they’re not able to hold down stable relationships|“their jobs are damaged|“they have a distorted view of reality,” he states.

I’ve never cared about anyone really, so I’ve never taken relationships seriously

Sex-Based Distinctions in NPD Presentation

Although three-quarters of people diagnosed with the condition are males, studies suggests this number does not mean there are less female narcissism, but that female narcissism is typically appears in the less obvious variety, which is often overlooked. “Men’s narcissism tends to be somewhat tolerated, just kind of like everything in society,” says a young adult who discusses her dual diagnosis on online channels. It is not uncommon, the two disorders co-occur.

First-Hand Experiences

It’s hard for me with handling criticism and rejection,” she shares, whenever it’s suggested that the problem is me, I often enter self-protection or I withdraw entirely.” Although experiencing this response – which is often called “self-esteem damage”, she has been working to manage it and take advice from her loved ones, as she aims to avoid falling into the negative conduct of her earlier years. My past relationships were toxic to my partners as a teenager,” she states. With professional help, she has been able to mitigate her NPD symptoms, and she explains she and her current boyfriend “have a dynamic where I’ve instructed him, ‘When I speak manipulatively, if I say something manipulative, address it {right then and there|immediately|in the moment’.”

She grew up mostly in the care of her father and explains there was an absence of healthy examples in her youth. “I’ve been learning continuously what is and is not appropriate to say during a fight because I lacked that guidance growing up,” she shares. There were no boundaries when my family members were insulting me during my childhood.”

Underlying Factors of The Condition

These mental health issues tend to be linked to childhood challenges. “There is a genetic component,” explains a mental health specialist. But, when someone exhibits NPD characteristics, it is often “tied to that individual’s particular early environment”. Those traits were “a survival tactic in some ways to cope in formative years”, he continues, when they may have been ignored, or only shown love that was based on meeting certain expectations. They then “persist in applying those familiar tactics as adults”.

Similar to other of the those diagnosed, one individual thinks his parents “could also have the disorder. The individual shares when he was a child, “everything was all about them and their work and their social life. So it was like, don’t bother us.” When their attention turned to him, it came in the form of “a great amount of pressure” to achieve academic success and career success, he notes, which made him feel that if he didn’t achieve their goals, he wasn’t “worthy.

In adulthood, none of his relationships ever worked out. “I’ve never cared about anyone really,” he admits. “So I’ve never taken relationships seriously.” He didn’t think loving someone, until he met his long-term relationship of three years, who is also dealing with a personality disorder, so, similar to his experience, finds it hard to manage emotional regulation. She is “very supportive of the thoughts that occur in my head”, he explains – it was in fact, her who initially thought he might have NPD.

Seeking Help

After a visit to his general practitioner, he was directed to a clinical psychologist for an evaluation and was informed of his condition. He has been recommended for therapeutic sessions on the public health system (extended treatment is the primary approach that has been proven effective NPD patients, clinicians explain), but has been on the patient queue for 18 months: The estimate was it is likely to occur in a few months.”

John has only told a small circle about his condition, because “there’s a big stigma that all narcissists are abusers”, but, privately, he has come to terms with it. “It helps me to gain insight into my behavior, which is beneficial,” he explains. All of the people have come to terms with NPD and are seeking help for it – leading them to be open to talk about it – which is probably not representative of all people with the condition. But the existence of NPD content creators and the rise of online support communities point to {more narcissists|a growing number