Former English skipper Lewis Moody has revealed he has been found to have motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet face the full implications of the muscle-wasting condition that ended the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The middle-aged sportsman, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured several English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast 14 days after discovering he has the condition.
"There's something about facing the future and hesitating to really process that at the moment," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's going. We grasp that. But there is definitely a reluctance to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking alongside his wife Annie, says instead he feels "at ease" as he focuses on his immediate welfare, his family and making preparations for when the condition progresses.
"Maybe that's trauma or possibly I process things uniquely, and when I have the facts, it's more manageable," he added.
First Indications
Moody learned he had MND after noticing some lack of strength in his shoulder while exercising in the gym.
After physiotherapy was ineffective for the problem, a set of scans indicated nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been damaged by MND.
"You're presented with this medical finding of MND and we're appropriately extremely moved about it, but it's so strange because I think I'm perfectly healthy," he added.
"I don't experience sick. I don't experience sick
"The signs I have are very minor. I have some muscle deterioration in the fingers and the upper arm.
"I'm still capable of accomplishing whatever I want. And with luck that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Disease Advancement
MND can progress quickly.
Based on the organization MND Association, the illness claims a third of people within a year and more than half within two years of detection, as eating and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Medical care can only retard worsening.
"It isn't ever me that I feel sad for," added an moved Moody.
"It's the sadness around having to tell my mum - as an single child - and the consequences that has for her."
Personal Consequences
Talking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by feeling when he discussed informing his sons - 17-year-old Dylan and adolescent Ethan - the heartbreaking news, saying: "This was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two excellent boys and that was rather devastating," Moody said.
"We sat on the couch in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog bounded over and began removing the tears off our faces, which was rather silly."
Moody stated the focus was remaining in the present.
"There is no solution and that is why you have to be extremely strongly directed on just welcoming and appreciating all aspects now," he said.
"As Annie said, we've been truly fortunate that the sole determination I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as feasible. We don't get those periods back."
Player Connection
Top-level competitors are unevenly affected by MND, with studies proposing the incidence of the disease is up to six times higher than in the broader public.
It is considered that by restricting the oxygen obtainable and causing injury to motor neurone cells, consistent, vigorous physical activity can trigger the illness in those inherently genetically susceptible.
Rugby Playing Days
Moody, who won 71 England selections and traveled with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his playing career, in acknowledgment of his fearless, relentless style to the game.
He played through a stress fracture of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a training-ground scuffle with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he abandoned a practice gear and started participating in tackles.
After entering as a reserve in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the end of the throw-in in the crucial passage of play, establishing a platform for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to score the game-deciding field goal.
Support Network
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a handful of other previous players about his condition, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the broader public.
"There will be a time when we'll need to rely on their backing but, at the present, just having that sort of love and recognition that people are available is the crucial thing," he stated.
"Rugby is such a great group.
"I told to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even if it concluded now, I've enjoyed all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"When you get to call your love your profession, it's one of the most important honors.
"Achieving this for so considerable a period with the squads that I did it with was a pleasure. And I know they will want to help in whatever way they can and I await having those discussions."
